How to Reconnect with Yourself When You Feel Lost
Feeling lost is a sign that you’re disconnected from yourself. You might not even realise it, but if you have trouble feeling your emotions, are constantly yearning to be somewhere else, or find yourself out of alignment (saying one thing but doing another), chances are you’re disconnected—and that’s why you feel lost.
So, how do you find yourself so you don’t feel lost?
Do You Know What You Need?
And when I say that, do you know what you need to be okay—beyond food, water, shelter, and money? Because if you’re stressing about basic survival needs, those are your immediate priority. It’s like navigating a maze when the ground is crumbling beneath you—your focus has to be stabilising your foundation first. Once those needs are met, you can understand your deeper emotional needs.
Ask Yourself These Three Questions:
Do you know what you need emotionally to be okay?
Do you know your values, and are you living by them?
Are you more focused on avoiding pain than creating joy?
If you answered “no” to any of these, that’s likely why you’re feeling lost. It’s okay. Awareness is the first step to finding your way back.
When You Don’t Know What You Need Emotionally to Be Okay
Imagine you’re a plant trying to grow in poor soil. No matter how much water you pour on it, the nutrients aren’t there. Similarly, when you don’t know what you need emotionally, you’ll feel a void inside—a void that you’ll try to fill with people, things, or endless distractions.
For example, you might find yourself shopping to fill that emptiness, clinging to relationships that drain you, or scrolling through social media for hours to escape your thoughts. You get temporary relief, like a quick hit of sugar, but it doesn’t sustain you. It’s not about the external stuff; it’s about not knowing how to nourish yourself from the inside out.
Start with small acts of self-check-in. Ask yourself daily, “What do I need right now to feel okay?” This simple question can help you reconnect with your inner needs instead of searching externally for answers.
When You’re Not Living in Alignment with Your Values
Think of your values as the North Star guiding your life. Straying from them is like sailing without a compass—no wonder you’re lost. You say you value honesty, but bite your tongue to avoid conflict. You claim freedom matters, but you stay in a job that suffocates you. Whenever you compromise on your values, you lose a piece of yourself.
I remember when I stayed in a job that looked great on paper but felt utterly wrong for me. Every day was a tug-of-war between what I was doing and who I wanted to be. It wasn’t until I started aligning my actions with my values that I felt a sense of direction again.
Identify your top three values and write them down. Reflect on how you can start living by them daily, even in small ways. If you value authenticity, for instance, practice speaking your truth in low-stakes situations.
When You’re Focused on Avoiding Pain Instead of Increasing Joy
Many of us are running from pain like it’s the villain in a movie—avoiding discomfort at all costs. But life isn’t just about dodging pain; it’s about seeking joy, even if it feels foreign. Imagine you’re on a hike, and all you do is watch out for the rocks—never once looking up to enjoy the view. As the poet Rumi once said,
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
Pain can teach us, but it shouldn’t be our only focus. Shifting your perspective from avoidance to the pursuit—pursuing joy, fulfilment, and growth—can turn everything around.
Each day, do one small thing that brings you joy, no matter how simple it seems. It could be reading a chapter of a book, dancing to your favourite song, or calling a friend. These small moments of joy are like breadcrumbs leading you back to yourself.
Reconnecting with yourself
Reconnecting with yourself isn’t about finding something outside of you but remembering who you are. It’s about peeling back the layers of distraction, societal pressure, and old stories to reconnect with your core.
Take time to check in with what you need, realign with your values, and shift your focus from running away from pain to moving toward what lights you up.
Don’t just read this and move on. Take a moment to reflect. What’s one small step you can take today to reconnect with yourself? Write it down. Make it real. Because the journey back to yourself starts with a single, intentional step.
If you’re tired of feeling lost and disconnected, and ready to reconnecting with who you truly are, book a call with me.
You can also download my free eBook to help you embody the calm, confident version of yourself you know is within.
